Guts & Glory: Walker (In the Shadows Security Book 4) Read online

  His low chuckle filled her ear.

  “Trace,” she began.

  “Yeah, baby?”

  “Are you coming home soon?”

  “Yeah. Flying out tomorrow. Found a lead. Need to follow it. But I’m not sure how long I’ll be staying.”

  Ellie frowned. “You’re coming home and then leaving right away?”

  “Plan to be home a night or two, then I’ll go.”

  That would be three more days closer to the looming deadline. “I told you how you could make this easier for both of us.”

  “Yeah, and I heard you. Doesn’t mean it’s the best option.”

  “But it would be easier for everyone involved.” When he didn’t say anything she added, “Your boss isn’t going to be happy. Fifteen hundred won’t go far when it comes to all of this travel.”

  “Sweetheart, that fifteen hundred was spent the first morning. He charges premium for our time. That’s why it’s a good gig for me.”

  He did have a nice house, car, motorcycle... And he’d restored the Ford. None of that was cheap. “I can’t afford to pay—”

  “I’ve got it covered.”

  “Trace...”

  “Said I got it covered, El.”

  She pressed her fingertips to her bottom lip and dropped her head. “Why?”

  “Because I put myself in your shoes, as you asked. We were both wrong back then. And now I want to make it right.”

  “For me?”

  “With you. Can’t do that if we erase your existence.”

  “I could change my name, my hair color...”

  “What I’m finding, El, is that wouldn’t be enough. Not with this... outfit. We would need to fake your death, get you all new documents and then set you up somewhere they would never look.”

  “That sounds more complicated than I thought.”

  “Yeah, it’s not just you getting a fake passport and hopping on a plane to live on some tropical island, Ellie. Not with these guys. They don’t fuck around when it comes to their money. Your husband picked the wrong men to screw over. I wouldn’t doubt they don’t put the screws to your father-in-law next, if they haven’t already. McMaster put his whole family at risk. They won’t stop until they get what they’re after. They’re rich and powerful, and you don’t get that way by backing down or excusing debts. This is some serious shit.”

  His serious words were compounded by his serious tone. “So, it’s worse than I thought.”

  “Worse than any of us thought.”

  “I told you I don’t want to put anyone at risk. I meant that. Not you. Not your team. Not anyone who lives in this compound, Trace.” Including the women she not only met today, but the women she still hadn’t met or any of their children. “I don’t want what George did to mess up anyone else’s life.”

  “Too late on that one, sweetheart.”

  But it could minimize the damage. He had a plan she just needed to let him do whatever he did with it. “So, who are they?”

  “Not now. We can talk about that when I get back. That’s not why I called.”

  Ellie raised her head and sat up. “Did you call to tell me how you lost your leg?” She winced when that came out. Damn wine.

  “No.”

  “Are you ever going to tell me?”

  “I’ve relived it a million times, El, not sure I want to relive it one more.”

  “I’d like to know.”

  “Is it that important to you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why?” he echoed her earlier question.

  “Because I love you and I wasn’t there for you when it happened. I wasn’t there during your recovery, however long that was.”

  “El...” he breathed.

  “And I want to know everything that I missed. And you’re wrong about something.”

  His voice had a catch in it when he asked, “What’s that, sweetheart?”

  “Maybe we both did the wrong thing, but I did it for selfish reasons.”

  “No.”

  “Yes. I did what was best for me, not you.”

  “Again, I put myself in your shoes, El. I probably would have been out of my mind if the roles had been reversed.”

  “Enough to leave me?”

  He was quiet. His breathing the only sound on the other end of the phone.

  “How come it took this long for us to figure it out?” She tried to keep the shake from her voice, but it was impossible. She always got more maudlin when she drank too much wine.

  “Because it happened and we both moved on. That’s how life is. Shit happens, and unless you wallow in it, you get swept up with everything else going on around you. Next thing you know, the woman—the girl you loved—loves someone else, gets married to him and plans to have his babies.”

  But she didn’t have his babies. She should’ve known then she’d made a mistake. An even bigger one than breaking up with Trace.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Sweetheart, sorries aren’t going to change the past.”

  “But that’s all I have to give.”

  “Fuck, El,” he said on a low groan.

  She refocused on something else he said. “You said ‘loved.’”

  No answer.

  When she told him she loved him, it was present tense. “Past tense.”

  “We spent more years apart than we did together, El. And the couple years we were together were a long time ago.”

  But true love never died, wasn’t that right?

  Maybe his love for her had never been true.

  “You’re right,” she said softly, feeling a sting in her eyes. She was not going to break down while on the phone with him. She could not expect him to pick up his feelings after nineteen years, brush them off, and slap them back into his chest.

  And she reminded herself again, maybe that was for the best. In case she did have to disappear. She ripped his heart out once, she didn’t want to do it again.

  “None of this was why I called.”

  “Why’d you call?”

  “I’m an expert at dirty talk. Remember?”

  “You called for phone sex?” she squeaked, his unexpected reason for calling sweeping away the sadness that had settled into her bones.

  “You made me an expert at it, sweetheart.”

  “All those late nights on the phone.”

  “Yeah. When I was at a safe distance from you and I could do what I wanted to you without getting in trouble.”

  “If anyone had found out, you still would’ve gotten in trouble.”

  “I’ll rephrase. Ended up behind bars.”

  Ellie smiled. “You did some very naughty things to me over the phone, Mr. Walker.”

  “And you drove me out of my mind, Miss Cooke. All those showers were never enough. I had to improvise.”

  “Like MacGyver,” she whispered.

  “You didn’t enjoy those conversations?” he teased.

  “You know I did.”

  His low chuckle came through the phone again.

  “You know that’s why at 12:01 on my birthday we were in the back of your pickup by the lake.”

  “My plan worked.”

  Ellie’s smile widened. “No, honey. My plan worked.” She wanted him just as much as he had wanted her.

  “Where are you?”

  “On your couch.”

  “You sleep in my bed last night?” The softness in his voice was now gone. In its place was a firm tone.

  “Yes.”

  “Did you touch yourself, too?”

  “Yes.” Heat crawled into her cheeks, and it wasn’t from the wine. “A little,” she fibbed. She didn’t have a lot in her two suitcases, but she had packed her favorite vibrator, hoping TSA didn’t find it if they searched her luggage.

  “Were you thinking about me when you did it?”

  “No.”

  He laughed. “Such a liar. What if I told you I thought about you very early this morning?”

  “I wouldn’t be surprised.”


  He barked out a laugh. “Damn, El.”

  “Is it a compliment that you think about me when you masturbate?”

  “Yes.”

  “Really?”

  “Only if it’s me, though.”

  “Oh, then it’s okay. I see how it is.”

  “I’m glad you see it.”

  She faked yawned. “Okay, time for me to get some sleep. I didn’t realize it’s this late.”

  “Yeah, sweetheart, you need to go to bed.”

  “That’s my plan.”

  “Go to my room, do what you have to do to prepare for bed, then call me back.”

  “For?”

  “You know what for.”

  Warmth swirled through her, curling her toes. “With you there and me here, you won’t be able to control when I come.”

  “You don’t think so?”

  A shiver ran through her at his question which wasn’t one, but more like a challenge. “I’ll be in control.”

  “We’ll see. Go to bed, El. You’ve got five minutes to call me back. Which means you need to hustle.”

  The call ended and she pulled it away from her ear to stare at it for a second.

  But only a second, because she only had five minutes.

  Which meant she needed to hustle.

  Walker had one arm crooked behind his head, which was on two stacked pillows.

  Five minutes seemed like a fucking half hour. But he watched the time on his phone and about ten seconds before her deadline, his phone lit up. He hit the Answer button and put her on speaker phone. “That was close.”

  “I took my time,” she answered, sounding slightly out of breath.

  Right she did.

  Jesus, laying naked in a bed talking to Ellie while she laid in his brought memories crashing forward.

  His mother probably wondered why he went through so many boxes of tissues when he didn’t have a cold or allergies.

  There was many a night where he and Ellie got off in the back of his truck with them managing not to go all the way, but sometimes he could only take so much and took her home early because he had his limits. Then he’d call her from his room, hoping neither of his parents would pick up the line.

  Or hoping like hell her mother or stepfather didn’t pick up hers.

  He had promised them they would wait, and they did, but there were plenty of times when he thought he might have to break that promise.

  Thank fuck for a good imagination and phones.

  Like tonight.

  Because what he found out last night in McMaster’s offices, what information he dug up today, was not good.

  He wasn’t sure how to get Ellie out of this jam. He didn’t have enough money himself to pay the debt. If he could, he would, just to keep her safe.

  Even if he sold everything he owned and liquidated his investments, he still wouldn’t be close. He could borrow it, if he needed to, but—

  “Trace, are you there?”

  He shook himself mentally. “Yeah, I’m here. You in my bed now?”

  “Yes.”

  He closed his eyes and pictured her there, ready and waiting. And something he wasn’t ready to admit rushed through him like a freight train.

  Feelings he hadn’t felt in a long damn time.

  Fucking goddamn.

  “El, you naked?”

  “No. I’m in panties and your T-shirt.”

  His lips curled up at the thought of her wearing his shirt. “Panties off. Leave my shirt on.”

  Fuck yes. She’d be wrapped up in something of his when she came. Just like the old Rolling Stone shirt he used to own that she had confiscated when they were young. She had told him she slept in it every night.

  Bet she didn’t sleep in anything but expensive nighties once McMaster got a hold of her.

  Fuck the nighties. He wanted her in his shirt.

  He wrapped his fingers around the root of his cock and squeezed them tight, trapping the flow of blood, watching his cock darken, the veins protrude.

  He wanted her mouth on him right now. He wanted the tip of her tongue touching him, whisking off that bead of precum at the tip.

  He hated that he was so far away from her.

  He released the root of his cock and studied it as it turned back to its normal color.

  “Panties are off, shirt’s still on. Now what?”

  He shook his head and smiled. She knew exactly what. They’d done this dozens of times. Maybe even more.

  It was a miracle they never got caught.

  “Now you become an expert at dirty talk.”

  Her rush of breath hit his ear. “I—”

  “Don’t say you can’t. If anyone knows how innocent you aren’t, it’s me.”

  “Which is all your fault,” she reminded him.

  His grin got bigger. He would be glad to take the credit. She might have looked sweet and innocent on the outside when she was in high school, but he knew the truth. She burned hot deep down inside.

  She hadn’t been easy, but she’d been worth every fucking second he had to wait.

  “I was only like that with you.”

  Thank fuck for that. “That’s because you were mine, El.”

  “But I never... Even then... It was always you doing it.”

  “And tonight, it will be you.”

  “What if I’m not good at it?”

  He glanced down at his cock, which was leaking onto his hip. “Sweetheart, I’m hard as fuck for you right now. So fucking hard just thinking about what you’re going to be whispering in my ear, what you’re going to be doing in my bed, wearing my shirt... Even if you suck, it’ll be okay.”

  She huffed. “I’m not going to suck.”

  “There’s my girl.”

  “I’m not a girl anymore, Trace.”

  “No shit. I’ve noticed. And knowing that makes me even harder. You were great back then; you are even better now.”

  “I...”

  “Baby, I don’t want to rush you, but I don’t have all night. I got an early flight and another phone call to make after this.”

  “This late?”

  “Yeah.”

  “To who?”

  The last thing he wanted to talk about with her in his bed and his fist wrapped around his cock was her case. “Doesn’t matter. What matters is, we’re on the phone and my dick is hard. And if you touch yourself, you’re probably already wet.”

  No answer.

  He grinned and stroked his cock. “Right?”

  “Mmm hmm.”

  He laughed. “Thought so.”

  “But the wine helped.”

  “How much did you drink?”

  “A bit.”

  “Enough for you to do things you normally wouldn’t do?”

  “No.”

  “Damn,” he whispered. “I’ll save that for when I’m in the same room.”

  “Okay, so now what?”

  “Now you make us come.”

  “Quickly or slowly?”

  “Your call.”

  “Hmm. Okay. So, if I was drunk enough, what would you want to do to me?”

  “This is supposed to be you, El, not me.”

  “Just give me this and I’ll take it from there.”

  He bit back a laugh. “Okay. I’ve touched every part of you. Claimed every part, too. Except for one. You never let me go there.”

  “No, I—”

  “I want to go there, El. Take me there tonight.”

  He heard her breath hiss raggedly.

  He barely stopped his from doing the same when he fisted his cock again from the root to the tip. It was already slick and shiny from the coconut oil he’d put on his stump after taking off his leg. What he used to keep the skin on his residual limb pliable also made a great natural lube.

  And he’d be using it on her when he finally got to take her ass for real.

  But, for now, he would have this fantasy.

  If Ellie got on board.

  “El?”


  “I’m here.”

  “What are you doing?”

  “Trying to figure out if I should be on my back or my stomach.”

  Damn. “Let me know what you decide.”

  A giggle filled his ear. “If you were here, how would you want me?”

  “That’s cheating.”

  “But I have no experience with this.”

  Thank fuck for that, too. That was what he wanted to hear. “You’ll figure it out, sweetheart. Do whatever you’re comfortable with.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  “Yes, I’m on my knees.”

  Fuck me. “Where are your hands?”

  “I’m going to have to put you on speaker.” He heard a rustle. “Okay, I have my head on the pillow and the phone next to my face. Can you hear me all right?”

  “I hear you.” He dropped his phone onto his chest and with his other hand he cupped his balls, squeezing lightly. “Can you hear me?”

  “Yesss,” came out of her on a hiss.

  “You touching yourself already?”

  Silence.

  What the fuck? “El? You need to talk, not just get into your own head.”

  She giggled again. “Sorry. I’ll do better.”

  He waited. More silence.

  “Ellie,” he barked.

  “I... I’m going to come.”

  “Already?” He kicked his head back on the pillow and stared at the ceiling in frustration. “Don’t!”

  “Too late,” she whispered. “Told you that you wouldn’t be able to control my orgasm.”

  “Singular.”

  “What?”

  “That was only the first one, sweetheart. And I’m still laying here with a throbbing cock in my hand.” He sighed. “There’s a container of coconut oil next to the bed.”

  “I know.”

  “Put some on your fingers.”

  “I’m supposed to be doing this, Trace.”

  “Then do it. You’re killing me here.”

  He heard more rustling, then she was back. “Now what?”

  “What do you think?”

  “Oh.”

  “Talk me through it, El. Tell me everything you’re doing, how you’re doing it and how it feels.”

  “When you give me orders, it makes me clench tightly around you.”

  Fuck yes. He could imagine that, too.

  “Trace.”

  “Yes?”

  “I like it when you give me orders.”

  Jesus. This woman really was going to kill him.

  “Okay, baby. Then I’ll take over.” He settled deeper into the mattress and began to stroke himself, his palm easily sliding up and down his erection. He smoothed the coconut oil over the head, gathering the precum along with it. “Thumb on your clit, El. That’s my tongue touching you there, stroking it. Tell me how that feels.”